


Into The White

by CariadWinter



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alien Abduction, Alien Chimeras From Hell, Alien Ice Planet, Blood and Injury, F/M, Fighting, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Friends to Lovers, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kissing, Post-Betrayal, Stalked by Aliens, Tentacle Monster... sort of, Unplanned Pregnancy, Xeno Non-con Elements, it's complicated - Freeform, more angst than fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-22 06:33:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12475560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CariadWinter/pseuds/CariadWinter
Summary: Captain Nicodemus Hale and Doctor Zoe Marks learn two things after their skiff crashes on an unfamiliar planet: Things will never be simple between them and they aren't alone.





	Into The White

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArgylePirateWD](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgylePirateWD/gifts).



Zoe couldn’t bring herself to look at her captain. They’d been stranded on Ulmir VII for a little over twenty-four hours and she’d barely spared him a glance, short of checking him for injuries.

Once upon a time, what seemed like ages ago now, they’d been friends. They’d been the closest kind of friends you could be. Zoe had shared everything with him. There’d been nothing that Nicodemus Hale hadn’t known about her.

Inseparable nearly from the start, Zoe had tried to fight the attraction she’d felt for him. She’d tried so hard to preserve the one friendship that had kept her sane and safe. Nic had gotten under her skin though. He’d promised her everything, had promised her the moon and stars and she’d fallen like Alice down the rabbit hole. She’d loved him more than anything, given him every part of herself, and less than a year later they’d crumbled into nothing.

Now, no matter how hard they tried to rekindle that friendship, it always felt like it did nothing more than slip through Zoe’s fingers. She wanted to trust Nic. She wanted to believe that he’d changed, that he’d grown up and out of needing a different body to warm his bed every night. She wanted to believe him when he promised to never hurt her again.

“I’m sorry you know,” Nic stated softly.

Zoe assumed he meant for getting them both stranded on this godforsaken hunk of ice and snow, but didn’t respond. She simply busied herself with the busted comm unit they’d salvaged from the wreck. She wasn’t exactly tech savvy, but she needed to feel like she was doing something.

“I never…” he continued but didn’t sound as though he actually knew what he wanted to say. Nic had never been good at speaking when it was important, not when it came to personal matters at least and that hadn’t changed it seemed. “I just…”

Zoe turned to him and glared. She was exhausted and ached in places she didn’t know could ache. She’d taken a beating during the crash, was certain that she had at least a minor concussion and some bruised ribs. There was blood caked in her hair along the right side of her forehead that itched and Zoe was certain that if she looked in the mirror she’s be bruised black and blue.

“You just what?” she asked when he didn’t offer up anything else. Just looking at him made her want to punch him.

“I thought I could handle it,” he mumbled and moved closer to her. And that was Nic’s M.O. wasn’t it? He always thought he could handle more than he actually could. 

Nic was a brilliant man. He was charismatic and handsome, could accomplish almost anything he set his mind to. Zoe had loved that about him. Still loved that about him if she were honest with herself. He was afraid of nothing and had never met a challenge he’d been afraid to accept. That had been why the Alliance had promoted him so quickly through the ranks. That was what made him a good marine. That same drive and fearlessness was also what caused him to do stupid and foolish things… like getting them stranded.

Zoe nodded, a strand of dark blonde hair falling down across her cheek. “Yeah well, you were wrong,” she informed him, then turned her attention back to the comms unit. 

They’d managed to salvage a few things from the crash site, but there hadn’t been much. They had a few provisions, a medkit, a couple of pulse rifles, some flash grenades, and the busted comms unit. Everything else had been destroyed or lost. 

“I didn’t anticipate the storm front moving in so fast,” Nic tried to explain, clearly trying to rationalize his decisions from earlier. “I thought we’d make it.”

“Except we didn’t,” Zoe replied icily. Her head was pounding, her butt was aching from sitting on the cold ground, and this was the last conversation she wanted to be having. There was already enough on her mind that she didn’t need him dancing around some bumbled apology speech.

“We’re ten clicks from a base that’s probably been abandoned for god knows how long, the skiff is in pieces, and we’re being hunted by some indigenous beasty that probably hasn’t had a decent meal in years.”

“I know, Zoe,” Nic shot back, his frustration and weariness leeching into his tone. “I’m sorry. I just…”

“No!” Zoe snarled and hoped that everything she felt in that moment was translated into the seething look she shot him. “Sarg said to wait. He warned you that the storm would be too much for the skiff. You knew better though. Captain Hale always knows better. Only this time, instead of just trying to get yourself killed, you nearly took me down with you!”

Nic moved closer and knelt at her side. 

“Zoe, I…”

A deep, guttural roar resonated on the howling wind outside. It made them both jump and Zoe was on her feet in an instant, hand reaching for one of the rifles, pulse jumping erratically. It had been close, too close for comfort. This thing, this creature, had been hunting them since the crash. It was big, fast like a wolf and furred to protect itself from the elements. It was unlike anything Zoe had ever laid eyes upon, though it brought to mind old Earth creatures such as the Sphinx or chimera, many creatures molded and bred into one. That was this thing. 

Zoe wondered, for a moment, if this creature wasn’t something someone had cooked up in a lab somewhere. After all, the base they were there to check up on was an Alliance research site. Perhaps some scientist with a god complex had cooked this thing's DNA and it had turned on them. Which would just be perfect because clearly this thing had a taste for human blood now.

“If that thing has tracked us here…” Nic started...

“We have the rifles,” Zoe stated, sounding much calmer than she felt.

They’d had no way to barricade the mouth of the cave, no way to protect themselves from anything that wanted to get in. They’d simply moved as deep into the cave as possible and hoped that they’d be safe through the night. 

Zoe glanced down at him over her shoulder. Nic was kneeling just to the back left of her, the other pulse rifle raised and ready to fire. If something came for them, he’d fight to the death to protect her. That was one thing that Zoe was certain of. Nic was, if nothing else, a good captain and soldier. He’d lay down his life for any of his crew. That was another thing that Zoe loved about him. She knew, at the core of him, that Nic was a good man. He just made shit decisions where his personal life was concerned.

Another roar cut through the silence that had settled between them, but this one sounded further away. 

“I don’t think it can track us because of the storm,” he stated, sounding hopeful.

“Maybe,” Zoe replied.

Neither of them lowered their weapons right away. They were both on edge and ready to jump at the slightest noise. Nic moved to stand beside her and Zoe wanted nothing more than to just lean into him. She was too tired and hurt too much to fight anymore.

“You should get some sleep. I’ll take first watch.”

Zoe looked from the entrance of the cave to him, studied him for a long moment, then nodded silently. She knew that he probably wouldn’t wake her. He’d let her sleep for as long as possible. A part of her wished that that wasn’t the captain in him, but rather the Nic that loved her. She’d be lying to herself if she said that Nic didn’t treat her differently than the rest of the crew. It was rare that he ever raised his voice to her, even when she was the one in the wrong, and half the time, it was as though he didn’t know how to act around her. 

Sometimes, on days when it seemed like time travel was truly possible, it felt as though nothing had ever changed between them. They could laugh at and tease each other like they were still the best friends they’d been growing up. But then, they would share a look or brush against the other in a certain way and the illusion would be shattered. 

She moved to the very back of the cave, settled against the wall there, and placed the pulse rifle down next to her. More than anything, she wished they had blankets. It was freezing inside the cave and with nothing to occupy her mind, she had already started to shiver. The cold is the other predator that they have to worry about. They could very well freeze to death before that thing out there ever got to them.

The thought made Zoe shiver harder and she wrapped her arms around her midsection without thinking about it. There were things that Nic and she needed to talk about, things they’d needed to talk about for months now, but she’d been too much of a coward to say anything. She was still angry with him, didn’t trust him not to hurt her. Zoe didn’t think she could survive Nic breaking her heart a second time and gods why couldn’t she have been assigned to a different ship? Why did any of this have to be happening?

An arm slipped around her, tugged her close, and Zoe startled at the realization that she hadn’t even noticed Nic sitting down next to her.

“You’re freezing,” he said and Zoe couldn’t help but snort.

“We’re both freezing,” she replied and blew out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

Her attention moved back towards the mouth of the cave, but her thoughts remained on the small life growing inside her. There was every possibility that they would die here and Zoe wondered if she was really going to be that woman. It wasn’t like she could just never tell him. Eventually, she would have started to show. 

“I think I kept waiting for you to come back,” she admitted before she could stop herself. If felt as though a weight had been lifted off of her and suddenly she couldn’t stop herself.

“I knew better than to get involved with you. I knew how you were, knew that you didn’t have it in you to commit. You liked your freedom too much and you couldn’t be the one who got hurt. You couldn’t let someone close enough to do any real damage.”

Nic’s arm loosened around her a little, but Zoe didn’t try to pull away.

“I let you convince me that because we were already so close, because I already knew everything that could hurt you, that I was different than all the other girls. I knew you loved me, knew you cared but… god, I convinced myself that you could love me the way you’re suppose to love the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

Nic’s arm tightened around her again. “I did want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Tears swelled in Zoe’s eyes and she shook her head. “No,” she said softly. “I think maybe you realized how in love with you I already was and out of fear of losing me, you convinced yourself for a little while that you could give me what I wanted.”

“That’s not true,” Nic countered. “I…”

“I wasn’t enough for you,” Zoe stated, cutting him off. She pulled away from him and twisted so she could look at him. She had to get this all out or she never would.

“I was never what you wanted or needed and you reminded me of that every time you cheated on me with some other girl. I tried to forgive it every time, tried to ignore it because I loved you, but god, Nic…” Tears spilled down her cheeks and she reached up to swipe at them angrily. Even now, all these years later, he could still make her cry. 

“I could smell them on you. You’d come home and head straight for the shower but I’d still catch the scent of their perfume.”

Nic’s face paled a little and somehow that felt like a small victory for Zoe. They’d never talked about what had happened between them. There’d been shouting at the end and they’d both said things to hurt the other, but when the shouting had finally stopped, she’d packed her bags and left. She’d gone home to her mother, cried for a week, and then she’d picked herself up and moved on. She’d never let him go and she’d never let another man get close to her, but she’d moved forward as best she could.

“The night that I made up my mind I was going to hurt you back, that I was going to put you through exactly what you were putting me through, you were so drunk you didn’t even bother to shower. You actually crawled into bed next to me, smelling like sex and some other woman.” A small, breathy laugh escaped her. “You curled up behind me, wrapped yourself around me, and all I wanted to do was vomit.”

Nic pushed himself up and moved away from her. Zoe watched him. She felt… empty. She’d been holding all of it in for so long that it had been the only thing filling her up.

“So you had sex with Alex to hurt me,” Nic stated and turned back to face her. There was an old, familiar anger in his eyes and it made Zoe’s heart beat a little faster.

She shrugged. “It didn’t take much to seduce him. He’d always had a thing for me and I knew he was the one other person that meant something to you. It was easy.”

“Oh was it?” Nic was angry. His hands balled into fists at his sides and he looked… he looked exactly the way he’d looked the night he’d walked in on Alex fucking her.

God but they’d fought that night. Nic had raged on the both of them and had beaten Alex to within an inch of his life. Nic had screamed at her. He’d trashed their apartment, broken everything he’d gotten his hands on and she’d thrown his whores right back in his face. He’d stormed out afterward and Zoe had showered, packed her bags, and then gotten Alex to the hospital before catching the next shuttle home to her parents. Ten years passed with no contact before they’d been thrown together again.

“It was a surprise,” she mumbled as her thoughts wandered to her first day onboard the Mira Luna, “seeing both of you on the ship.”

“Yeah well, he’s the best engineer in the fleet. Command didn’t really give me a choice,” Nic replied and the corner of Zoe’s mouth curled at the bitter bite to his words. “Just like they didn’t give me a choice with you. I take the crew as they are assigned.”

Zoe looked at him then, really looked at him. Nic was angry, yes, but there was also something decidedly broken about him.

“How’d you get past it all with him?” she asked, truly interested because they seemed to be the best of friends again.

Nic snorted, his anger seeming to dissipate a little. “There’s nothing a good deal of angry sex can’t fix eventually.”

It shouldn’t have surprised her, not really, but Zoe’s mouth fell open anyway and it took her a moment to process what he’d just told her.

“You… and Alex?” she replied, struggling with the words. 

Nic met her shocked gaze and shrugged. “Yeah,” he sighed. “A little over a year now.”

“Ha!” The helpless laugh escaped her lips and Zoe just shook her head. 

“Best kept secret on the ship,” Nic added.

Zoe didn’t know whether she wanted to laugh or cry.

“So the night you spent with me four months ago,” she inquired, uncertain of whether or not she really wanted the answer. “That’s why you panicked the morning after? Because of Alex?”

Nic paled again and shook his head. “No, Zoe. I… jesus! I panicked because it was you! I…” He raked a hand back through his hair, then moved forward to kneel in front of her. “We were just getting back to a place where we could talk to each other and it not be about the crew or inventory. We… we were starting to feel like us again and I didn’t want to lose that. I can’t lose that again, Zoe.”

She blinked at him, shocked silent by the sincerity in his words.

He shifted forward a little, pressed himself in against the front of her legs and slipped his hands around her knees. “I love you, Zoe,” he declared softly and tightened his grip on her knees. “I never stopped loving you.”

“Don’t,” she warned and shook her head. A lone tear escaped down the curve of her cheek.

Nic just pushed harder though. “I fucked up so badly all those years ago. I sabotaged everything we had because you scared the shit out of me. I never, ever, lied about loving you. Christ, Zoe… you were everything to me and so much so that… that I couldn’t breathe sometimes. All I could think about was you realizing what an utter waste of space I was and leaving me. I couldn’t… I never deserved you, Zoe, and I knew you’d realize that at some point. I knew you’d leave just like everyone else and I couldn’t deal with that. So I broke us before you could.”

Zoe laughed and the sound of it was helpless and pained even to her own ears. “You’re such an asshole, Nic. Fuck! I haven’t been able to leave you since the day I met you.”

She swiped angrily at the tears streaming down her face and cursed him silently for making her cry yet again.

“I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember and every man I’ve met since has never quite measured up. No matter how badly I wanted them to.”

Something lit up in Nic’s eyes and he leaned forward over her. He was close, too close, and Zoe panicked. She pressed a hand to his chest to stop him before he could press their lips together.

“No, Nic. This isn’t… god, Nic!” Zoe pushed him back and he let her.

“What?” he asked, sounding a more confused than he had a right to.

“What?” Zoe parroted and rolled her eyes. “You’re with Alex remember? Or was that all bullshit?”

Nic growled and sat back on his haunches. “No, it wasn’t bullshit. We just, it’s not like that with Alex and I. We just… we have a need that the other satisfies. There’re no expectations between us. No strings.”

Zoe blinked at him again.

Nic snorted.

“He already knows what happened between us, Zoe. He’s known since the day it happened. I told him.”

Zoe’s mouth dropped open. God, she really shouldn’t be surprised; but fuck!

“You… what?” was all she could manage.

He moved in again, pressed against her legs. “I never let go of you either and he knows that. He’s always known that. We… I haven’t touched him since the night you and I spent together.”

Zoe’s eyebrow arched. She found that really hard to believe. “You’ve not had sex since that night?” she inquired, tone clearing stating that she didn’t believe him. Nic couldn’t go five hours without sex. She really didn’t see him lasting a whole five months.

“I mean, if you don’t count the ridiculous amount of times I jerked myself off, then yeah,” he told her with a slight twinkle in his eyes. “There’s been no one.”

Zoe didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t wrap her mind around him actually not wanting to be with anyone else but her. She just couldn’t trust it.

The distrust must have shown on her face because Nic pressed himself forward, inserted himself between her bent knees and reached up to cradle her face in both of his hands. 

“I love you, Zoe. I have always loved you and I will never, ever, love anyone else the way that I love you,” he told her as he pressed their foreheads together. “And I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you if you’ll let me.”

There were tears in her eyes again. “Nic,” she whispered and lifted a hand to fist in his jacket.

The growl that reverberated through the cave froze the blood in her veins.

Nic turned slowly, and they both saw the beast at the same time. It was standing just inside the mouth of the cave, drool dripping from massive teeth, long claws clicked against the rocky ground.

Zoe reached for her rifle at the same time that Nic spun to reach for his own. They were too slow though. The beast lunged at them. It’s lowered head rammed into Nic and sent him flying. Zoe watched, screamed as his body hit the back wall of the cave and slid down.

“No!” she screamed and brought the rifle up to fire. 

She got one shot off but it went wide as the creature came for her. Pain lanced through her calf as its teeth sank into her flesh. She screamed again, wailed in agony as she tried to bring the rifle around once more. The thing yanked her forward, causing the rifle to drop from her hands as she reached for something, anything that would keep it from dragging her any further.

“Zoe!”

Nic was struggling to his feet as she twisted to look for him and, for one second, their eyes locked.

“Nic!” she cried out, but then the whole world spun around her. 

The creature yanked her forward, drug her out into the cold and snow and it was all Zoe could do to try and get a handhold on something. She clawed at the ground; panic and pain ripped through her in disorienting waves. Nic was screaming for her. His voice was the last thing she heard before her head impacted something so hard that it sent her spiraling into darkness.

 

* * *

There was a ringing in her ears. Zoe was disoriented and prying her eyes open felt like a physical chore. The next thing that followed was pain. So much pain.

The bright, blinding white all around her sent slivers of pain stabbing into her eyes. She was moving somehow, sliding along the ground, and it was all she could do to focus on the scenery slipping past. 

Clouds drifted by overhead. It was clear, she realized, and lamented the fact that it had taken her far too long to notice it.

“Nic,” she breathed out, the exhaled air turning into a puff of white.

Zoe’s head lulled to the side and she gasped at the sight presented to her. The length of her body stretched out before her. It slid effortlessly through the snow, leaving a trail of crimson behind her. She was numb. From head to toe, she was numb and god but that wasn’t good. 

She tried to roll her head up and it took a few tries before she actually managed it. The creature was there, the hood of her coat locked firmly in its teeth as it drug her along through the snow.

Zoe’s heart thudded hard in her chest and she tried to lift her arms to fight. If she could just get herself free… But her arms wouldn’t budge. She was too weak. Her body was more than likely shutting down on her and either by beast or the elements, she’d be dead soon.

“Not like this,” she breathed out. “Not like this.”

Darkness took her again shortly after.

 

* * *

Zoe felt something hard at her back and shifted against it. She forced her eyes open, blinked once, twice, to bring the world into focus. The white was gone, replaced with dark grays and the dank smell of earth. She was upright, sitting somehow and it took Zoe a moment to realize that she’d been propped up against the wall of a cave.

Her eyes rolled, tried to take in the area around her and she had to squeeze them shut for a moment when it all started to spin. The sudden spell of dizziness made her insides twist and her stomach rolled hard. She gagged on the bile rising in her throat and managed to turn her head just enough to keep from vomiting all over her lap. Every heave of her stomach caused the room to spin faster and squeezed tears from the corners of her eyes. She knew she’d be sobbing if she could manage it.

Finally, her stomach eased and the world stilled. Zoe gasped, desperate to fill her burning lungs. She was exhausted. The numbness had given way to a constant, full body ache and a migraine that made her wish she’d never woken at all.

She tried to shift again, but quickly realized that both of her legs were secured to the ground by some type of sticky, glue-like substance. Similarly, her arms had been suspended above her head to the wall.

“Hello?” she rasped, throat raw enough that it physically hurt to speak. 

A low growl reverberated off the walls around her and caused Zoe’s pulse to quicken. The heavy thud of something moving followed it, along with the clicking of claws against stone. Her pulse raced faster the closer it got.

Slowly, the beasts emerged from the shadows. There were two of them, massive, hulking creatures that slunk into the room with the stealth of a lioness seeking prey. They would have reminded her of polar bears if not for the distinctly reptilian head and tail. Their backs were ridged along their spines, each sporting a series of small spikes that carried straight down the length of their bodies from their heads to the tips of their tails. The hard, leathery looking ridges gave way to soft looking white fur that covered the remainder of their bodies. Their teeth reminded Zoe of an angler fish. They were massive and long, filled each gaping mouth and dripped as they walked. Long claws clicked against the stone as they moved, each foot sporting one long, curved talon that was reminiscent of a Raptor’s claw. 

Zoe’s breath caught as they stopped before her.

One tilted its head at her, studied her while the other lowered its head to sniff at her legs. She whimpered when its nose touched her and the other snarled, snapped its teeth in her face. 

“Oh god,” she whined and forced herself to stay as still as possible. Tugging at her bonds would be a futile thing in her weakened state and would more than likely just agitate the creatures further.

The beast’s nose slid up the inside of her leg, nestled in her crotch, and then drug up the front of her torso. It stilled against her neck, snuffled against her skin, and the pulled back a little. Slowly, the beast’s giant maw parted and something slithered past its teeth. It took Zoe a moment to realize that it was the thing’s tongue.

The slick, almost slimy appendage was disgustingly long and reminded her of tentacles. There were no suckers to latch onto her, but each little wriggling piece slithered against her. One curled around her throat, drawing her forward a little. Another slipped up and into the corner of her mouth while two more slithered down into her shirt. The last licked across her lips and cheek.

While one explored her with its tongue, the other beast shifted closer to her. It’s head bowed and it began to sniff at her as the other one had.

Zoe squeezed her eyes shut and prayed. She’d never been a particularly religious person, but in that moment, she prayed to whatever god was listening to either kill her quickly or help her escape.

Something tugged at her shirt and Zoe opened her eyes in time to see one of those massive talons rip down the front of her shirt. The tip of the beast’s claw caught flesh and scratched down her torso. Zoe screamed.

Both of the creatures growled and chuffed. The one sniffing at her reared up, its foot slamming back down dangerously close to her hip. Zoe screamed again and this time she couldn’t keep from tugging at her bonds. The slender tendril of tongue around her neck tightened though and quickly choked away her cries.

Zoe gasped, struggled to breathe against the tightening appendage while another wandering tendril slipped into the cup of her bra. It coiled around her breast, squeezed at it, the tip licking across her nipple. She whimpered and squeezed her eyes shut again. 

Was it fucking tasting her? Did these things have to sniff their dinner before eating it?

The tendril around her throat loosened and Zoe sucked in lungfuls of air. After a moment, the creature’s tongue pulled away from her altogether and she opened her eyes. One of the beasts had moved away from her completely and was standing in the mouth of the tunnel they’d both emerged from. The one that had been sniffing her was still hovering over her. It lowered its head, teeth parting to reveal its own tongue.

“No,” Zoe whimpered softly as the slender tendrils licked out across her skin.

One slithered up along her neck, while two toyed with her breasts. The other two trailed down her torso, writhed against her skin and licked along her stomach. The tip of one tendril pushed into her belly button until it began to sting and she feared it would penetrate her abdomen.

“Oh god!” she wailed and began to thrash in her bonds. “Please no!”

The beast growled at her, tendril pressing harder until Zoe gasped at the sharp sting of pain that ripped through her. Blood oozed from the stomach and the creature’s tongue, each and every tendril, lapped at her. She tried to jerk her leg free, tried to kick and fight, but nothing budged.

“Get off me!” she screamed and just as the beast reared back, looking as though it would sink teeth into her, an explosion rocked the cave.

The beast that had moved into the mouth of the tunnel went flying. It’s massive body slammed into the far wall and crumpled to the cave floor. The one that had been hovering over her roared and backed away from both her and the tunnel. It was hunkered low, ready to pounce on whatever came at it.

“Zoe!” A voice called out and Zoe’s heart slammed up into her throat.

“Nic!” she screamed, both relieved he was alive and terrified. “Nic, there’s two of them! There’s two!”

The remaining creature snapped at her, snarled out a warning and then looked back to the tunnel.

Nic appeared amidst the settling dust, pulse rifle raised to fire.

The beast charged him.

Time slowed.

Zoe watched as the creature lunged for him and Nic fired. Two pulse blasts caught the creature in the chest but it hit Nic full on as it landed and they both disappeared, tumbling into the tunnel.

“Nic!” Zoe screamed and tugged hard at her bonds. “Nic!”

She heard the echo of the creature’s growl and another blast from the rifle. When Nic screamed, Zoe dissolved into tears.

“Nic!” she wailed and couldn’t stop. 

At least, not until he came stumbling into view. His coat had been shredded at the front and one of his arms was bleeding, but he looked to be in one piece otherwise.

“Oh my god!” she gasped and started to cry harder when he dropped to his knees in front of her.

“It’s okay,” he assured her, hands coming up to cradle her face. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“I was so scared,” she sobbed. “I thought… I thought…”

“I know,” he whispered into her hair, then pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Me too.”

Nic clung to her for a moment longer before setting to the task of freeing her from whatever it was that had her trapped. It took all of his strength, but he managed it and Zoe slumped into his arms the second her arms were free.

“Whoa, hey,” he murmured in her ear and tried to prop her back up against the wall. Zoe had to fight to stay upright.

“How did you find me?” she asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Nic didn’t answer.

She rolled her head back further, braced it against the wall so she could look at him. He was looking down, eyes fixed on her the small swell of her belly. Zoe wasn’t showing much, but without her clothes to hide it, the growing baby bump was obvious.

“Zoe,” Nic choked out. His hand reached for her, settled on her stomach and she covered his hand with hers.

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” she admitted tiredly. 

Now that the adrenaline and fear had faded from her system, Zoe was crashing. The corner of her mouth hooked up into a small smile as Nic’s thumb brushed across her skin. 

“We’re going to have a baby,” he stated softly, the awe of it all apparent in his tone.

Her leg had started to bleed sluggishly again now that the compression of her binding was gone and her stomach still bled from where the thing had pierced her belly button. Zoe felt like she was floating.

“You never… wanted kids,” she reminded him and even to her, her voice sounded far away. 

Zoe’s eyelids fluttered as Nic’s attention snapped to her face. She tried to smile but her whole body felt weightless. The cold leached into her bones, but she didn’t have the will to care. She was a doctor. A good doctor. Zoe knew what this was. She’d lost too much blood before the creatures had gotten her back to their den and combined with the head injury, her body had been running off of the adrenaline when she’d woken. There wasn’t anything for her to cling to anymore.

Nic’s hands cupped her cheeks and he tilted her face towards his. He was speaking to her, but she was so tired and everything sounded muffled. Her eyelids fluttered again and for a moment, Nic was gone. He reappeared in her line of sight a second later though and had begun to wrap her leg in something.

“Stay with me.” The words echoed in her head like a prayer and Zoe’s eyes slid open sluggishly. She hadn’t even realized she’d closed them.

Nic was in her space again. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, then zipped up her coat. 

“So cold,” Zoe mumbled as he lifted her into his arms. She was fading again.

“I’ll keep you warm,” he assured her and it sounded like a promise… even if it was one he couldn’t keep.

 

* * *

There was a soft, constant hum coming from somewhere and it pulled Zoe into consciousness. She fought it at first,tried to sink back into blissful nothingness, but the light beyond her eyelids went from dark to bright red and it pushed her the last few steps into waking.

“Doctor Marks?” a soft, feminine voice called and Zoe blinked a few times before she turned her head and tried to focus on the figure standing over her.

“Talia?” she croaked. Her throat was dry and she’d literally had to force her voice out.

Talia was one of the nurses that worked with her aboard the Mira Luna and a close friend.

The woman smiled down at her. “Welcome back.”

Zoe frowned, tried to push herself up but firm hands pushed her back down.

“You need to rest, Zoe,” Talia told her. “Your body is still recovering.”

Frown still firmly in place, Zoe settled back against the bed and looked around. “How…” her voice cracked and Talia handed her a small cup with a straw sticking out of it.

“Slowly,” the woman instructed and Zoe nodded. She knew the drill no matter how thirsty she was.

The cool water soothed her throat. She coughed once when the cup was pulled away, then sighed and settled again. It took her a second to gather her thoughts and when all of it finally hit her, Zoe reached immediately for her stomach. She tossed the covers away from her midsection in a panic and pulled up the top they’d put her in.

“Baby is okay,” Talia told her and yes, there was her bump. “It was a near thing though. You were bleeding pretty badly when you got to us. Just, you should take it easy for a while.”

Zoe brushed both hands across her stomach and nearly cried at the feel of her child still safe and sound inside her.

“How?” she breathed out, amazed that she’d not miscarried.

“He’s strong like his mother,” Talia stated and Zoe looked up at her. The woman was still smiling, but there was something dark behind her eyes.

“You okay?” Zoe asked and reached one hand out to take one of Talia’s.

“Am I okay?” Talia echoed, laughed softly, and squeezed Zoe’s hand. “Only you could crash on an unfamiliar planet, get abducted and tortured by an alien creature, nearly die, spend two weeks in a coma, and then ask me if I’m okay.”

Zoe blinked at her. “Two weeks?”

Talia nodded. “The captain was pretty broken up about it. You died, Zoe. Like you legitimately died more than once before we got you stabilized. The bleed in your head, it was pretty nasty. I imagine you’ll still get some nasty headaches because of it and your leg… we got you patched up but there was a lot of muscle damage. You’ll be walking with a cane for a while.”

Zoe nodded and tried to take it all in as she shifted her hand back to her belly. Talia tucked the covers back up around her and then turned to make some notations on her med pad.

“Cap told us to let him know when you woke up,” she told Zoe after a few minutes had passed. “You feel up for some company or do you want me to let you rest a little more.”

Zoe smiled and shook her head. “I think I’ve slept enough. You can… you can send him down.”

“Okay.” Talia gave her one last smile and then left the room. 

Zoe exhaled and closed her eyes. She felt like she’d gone twenty rounds with a Valaskin Ren Warg. Everything ached and while she was certain they’d given her something gentle for the pain, it couldn’t have been much because of the baby.

She tried to piece together her memories of the planet. Zoe remembered the crash, she remembered finding the cave, and she even remembered being taken. Things after that were fuzzy. They’d probably come back to her over time, but honestly, she was fairly certain that she didn’t want to remember. She did, however, wonder how they’d gotten off that godforsaken rock.

“Hey, you.”

Zoe smiled at the sound of Nic’s voice and opened her eyes. He looked as though he hadn’t slept in days and he was sporting a beard that hadn’t been there before.

“Hey yourself,” she said back. “You look like I feel.”

Nic chuckled at the comment and moved to stand at the side of her bed. “That bad huh?”

She nodded. “Oh yeah.” 

She reached up and ran her fingers across his jaw. “I think I like this though,” she told him. “Makes you look like a grown-up.”

He chuckled again and turned his head to press a kiss to her hand, then reached up to take her hand in his. He pressed a kiss to her fingers, held them there while his thumb sought out the pulse point in her wrist.

“Still here,” Zoe assured him. 

Nic nodded and sank carefully down onto the bed beside her, then leaned forward to press his face into the side of her neck. 

“Hey,” she said softly and turned her own head to press her lips into his hair. “We’re okay now.”

Nic’s free hand slipped beneath the blanket and joined the one she still held on her stomach.

“You were right you know,” he mumbled into the skin of her neck. “I never wanted kids.”

Zoe nodded. “I know. It’s why I couldn’t bring myself to tell you right away. I didn’t… my heart can’t take another heartbreak from you, Nic. It just can’t.”

He shook his head against her and leaned in closer. His arm looped around her and the way he held her made Zoe’s heart flutter.

“I never wanted the chance to turn into my parents but… losing you… almost losing the both of you…” Nic shook his head again and Zoe gasped softly at the feel of warm tears smearing against her skin. 

“You can’t ever leave me again, Zoe,” he rasped, voice thick with emotion. “I can’t promise that I won’t make you mad or be a dick. I… it’s who I am, but I’ll try. I promise you I’ll try to be better. Just… don’t ever leave me again.”

Zoe bit her bottom lip and by all the gods, in all the worlds, in all the universes, she wanted to make that promise. “Only if you promise to never hurt me again the way you hurt me before.”

Nic raised his head and met her gaze. “This right here, you and our little bump, that’s all I need. That’s all I’ll ever need. You have my word on that.”

Zoe smiled, tears filling her eyes now, and nodded. There was a part of her that didn’t trust him to keep that promise, but she couldn’t be anything but honest with herself. It had always been Nic for her. He’d ruined her for anyone else and if he had truly changed, she had to give him the chance to prove it.

Nic leaned in, hovered just close enough for their noses to brush together. “I love you, Zoe.”

Zoe reached up and pressed a hand to his cheek. “I love you too.”

When he kissed her, it didn’t feel like the first time. There weren’t any bells or fireworks. Instead, it felt as though she’d finally found that part of herself that had been missing all these years. It felt like she’d finally come home.


End file.
